where the fuck is my hug?

can't anyone see that my anger and agression is a plea for a big bear hug??!?!?! doesn't anyone care about AJ's feelings??? why is it that everyone else's feelings seem to matter EXCEPT mine??

where the hell are all my friends? oh, right. everywhere but toledo. ohio. those fuckers. those fucking fucks!

This is how i feel today: Why "Clerks." is a great movie

I think this sums up about how I feel about people sometimes. I'm Randal in this scene. Dante's just about everyone else in my life right now.

Dante Hicks: You know what the real tragedy of this day is? I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Randal Graves: Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, pal! There you go again trying to pass the buck. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex girlfriend without even discussing how he felt about it with his present girlfriend? You want someone to blame for today? Blame yourself. "I'm not even supposed to be here today." You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here today. You're here under your own volition. You like to think that the weight of the world rests on Dante's shoulders. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Christ, you overcompensate for what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can just waltz in here and do our jobs. You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic and important than it really is. You work at a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work at a shitty video store, badly as well. That guy Jay's got it right, man. He's got no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to think that we're so much more advanced than the people that come in here everyday to buy paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?

Yeah. That sums it all up. I'm so sick of people pretending like they have so much to do. That they HAVE to do something. Fucking pricks. you don't HAVE to do anything. you fucking choose to. don't act all important because you chose to do something fucking lame, like help clean up someone else's apartment, or drop something off at a friend's place of work. you don't have to sit at a table selling tickets for a organization you volunteered for. you chose to do that shit bitches. you don't have to read the 50 pages that were assigned for class. you signed up for that shit when you decided to go to law school asshole. don't complain about it later. I don't want to hear about it.

i don't whine about choosing to do my laundry do I? or did I complain about how I chose to drive to 20 minutes out of my way b/c I wanted Chipotle? NO. I didn't. Because I fucking chose to do those things. the only i thing i have to do is breathe in every once in a while. and that's just because otherwise, i would die.

so the moral of this story is, unless its a life or death situation, you don't "have" to do shit. oh, and if its not life or death, i don't want to fucking hear about it.

Bedtime Stories

This past weekend we got snowed in. Luckily, it was my friend, beth's, birthday, and she lives in my apartment complex. She and her roommate had already planned a pre-party at their place before hitting the bars. Of course, since driving was pretty much out of the question, everyone within a short drive or walking distance came over and the pre-party turned into an all-nighter. Some friends of mine came late and parked over at my place, so they walked me home and hung out for a bit. When my roommate came home, I got into bed, and (keep in mind I’ve had a lot to drink at this point) yelled at my friend rick, to come tuck me in. so he did, and he was like, “so you want me to read you a story too?”. And of course I did! I tried looking for my copy of the little prince, but my night stand drawers wouldn't work, so I handed him a time magazine that was on the floor, and made him read to me about the new hillary swank movie! I’m such a dork.
And the funny thing is, that’s totally me. Who else keeps time next to their beds??

i need a date to the prom....

...would you like to come along? no one to go to the prom with me.....baby.....

:)

we have "barrister's ball" coming up next month. AKA Law School prom. i think all law school's have them. i just got my dress this past weekend. now i just need a cute boy to ask me, and buy my ticket. just kidding! unless someone's got a significant other or a spouse, pretty much everyone heads to this thing solo. but, its always fun to bring along a random, non-law school side-kick. i didn't last year, but hopefully i'll be able to take RK as my date. she's got residency interviews in and around Ohio around the day of prom, and she said she'd pack some dresses and try to come. that would be super-fun.

i was also trying to bring AD, one of my best guy friends from high school. he's taking the LSAT that morning, and i don't think there's a better way to celebrate the four hour law school admissions test than getting wasted with a bunch of law students. i told him about it a while ago, but i was back in cleveland this weekend, and we were talking about it, and he's all "but i have Cavs tickets for the next day at 1:00pm". lame. he could so still come.
then i'd have two "dates".

phunny phone calls

my friend dan and i tend to drunk dial eachother. i should rephrase. he dials me, i miss the call, and i call back. anyways. one night that this happened resulted in one of the funniest messages anyone's ever left me.
i should first recap the night. it was the first night that that everyone was back from winter break, and we were all trying to go out. and dan and i had talked earlier and had one of those "let me know where you're at later" conversations so that we could meet up. at some point in the night, i called him to let him know that we had switched locations, and some girl i didn't answered his phone saying that dan had passed out on her sofa. obviously, there was no way he was coming out.
so the next morning, i saw that i had missed a call at around 4am from dan. i checked the message, and it went something like this:

"hi AJ, this is dan's friend. he's passed out on our sofa right now, but he's been talking about you all night. he said you should coem pick him up. he's passed out and moaning or something"

superfunny.

so on monday at school, dan sees me and just starts laughing, all, "i cannot believe they called you while i was drunk" or whatever. apparently, his friends were really drunk too and just decided they would hit redial on his phone. i thought it was really funny. i don't think dan thought it was as much b/c i tried to make him listen to the message, and he refused. i think he was embarrassed.

which is surprising since it's not like i haven't seen him pass out on a couch before (mine) or see people mess with him while he's asleep.

Discouragement

i finally decided to check my grades from fall semester last night. needless to say, i am not pleased.
its really discouraging to study your ass off and still get shitty grades. passing is good and all, but its not as good as "doing well".
i'm trying really hard not to worry about it, you know, seeing as this is messing with my future and all. but like everyone has been saying since i started law school in the first place, "C's get degrees!"
this is true. but i'd really like to make it so that its no longer my mantra.