Waiting for the Sun....

just in case...

2005-11-25T15:48:00.000-05:00

just in case you ever get in a fight with your brother about what a slob he is, and say something like, "What do I look like, your mom?" be prepared for him to answer that truthfully with a "yes"

cattiness?

2005-11-08T08:54:00.000-05:00

i was just thinking about this:

most of my friends are about my age - so around 25. about half of them go tanning. often. and not the spray on shit. its the stand in a booth-naked-for 10 minutes-several times a week tanning. and i guess tanning doesn't make sense to me, having been born with a nice shade of brown, but also because everyone know's how bad it is with all the UV rays and whatnot (which is why i wear SPF everyday).

anyways, the whole point of my ramblings is that when we're all 30 or so, these girls will look closer to 40, and i'll look (hopefully) like i'm still in my 20s. without having to get botox or some shit to make me look younger.

and that makes me happy.

RTOTD

2005-10-26T12:58:00.000-04:00

did you ever notice that the people who get all involved in other people's lives, don't really have much going on in their own?

"i don't care about law school - blog!" -- kate

2005-10-25T11:27:00.000-04:00

truth be told, i don't think i care much about law school either. 7 months left, and i'm at that point where i just want to get Cs in the rest of my classes and be be done already. anyways, here's the law school lastest:

MPRE
thats the Multistate Professional Responsibilty Exam. basically, ethics. its in a little over a week. so i've been studying. i don't know where i am with this stuff yet. it seems like common sense, and i just did the review class for it, and it made me feel like i didn't have to study at all. if only it were that easy. practice tests until Nov. 4th. superfun stuff.

CREDITS
So, i think i only need to take 12 credits next semester to finish. that'll be nice. but, i really fucked up some stuff from this past summer. apparently, i was supposed to keep a log of all my hours to make sure i had 56 work hours for each credit. i wanted 6 credits so i need 336 hours. i have no idea if that happened. and i can't seem to reach anyone at the city to verify my hours for me. oh, and i think my professor hates me.

my big dilemma on this is that if i don't get the 6 hours from this summer, i'll need to take more classes. 15 next semester won't be a problem. but trying to fit in 18? that'll be hell. hopefully, i'll get at least 5 hours for this summer.

BAR EXAM
i think i need to sign up for that. i guess i have to figure out what state i want to live in for the rest of my life first. ohio is my default choice. i've decided that if i haven't decided what state i want to be in by jan. 15, then, i'll take the bar in ohio. i'd really prefer not to do that. i want to live in California! someone come move there with me!

JOB
haven't really started looking yet. and it's recruitment season. looking for a job, studying for the MPRE and trying to keep up in my classes? giant pain in my ass.

so that's my law school life. and i can't seem to remember why i decided to do this to myself.

guilty pleasure

2005-09-27T20:36:00.000-04:00

i am obsessed with the MTV show, "Laguna Beach". i have to watch it. i love it. it is both the best and the worst show ever. i don't know if it's real or fake. if its fake, it's fucking funny. and if it's real, it makes me feel so much better about myself and my own high school experience. the girls are so catty and bitchy! and they're all a bunch of rich, stuck up airheads. the boys are just there for show, and look way too old to be in high school. it's awesome! i love it! and i totally hated kristin last season with the whole stephen/LC/kristin triangle, but she's growing on me. it's just so fun to watch.

across the field

2005-09-12T22:16:00.000-04:00

i bought a new t-shirt for the OSU/Texas game that's got "across the field" written on the front and i big block "O" on the back. i love it. i had a great time at the game (minus actually going to the game). i got to see the girls, and i ran into random people i hadn't seen since graduation. soemtimes i forget how much i love the excitement of being one of the thousands of people walking around lane avenue wearing scarlet and grey. i loved the whole weekend in columbus - minus the final score. here are the highlights:

1. friday night as we're leaving carlisle, this cop pushes MC in the back as we're leaving, and when he turned around, the f-ing cop pepper sprayed him! no reason. the fucking ass. its always a good idea to fuck with the only sober guy in the group. as it was, MC isn't the biggest fan of OSU, and now, i'm not sure i'll i've be able to switch him over.

2. so watching game day saturday morning, and there's some bit with mr. jessica simpson and university fight songs. and for some reason, ESPN decided michigan has the best fight song, and nick lachey sang it from the top of the shoe! i wanted the crowd outside to beat him down so bad! he's from OHIO! he fucking knows better!! i am convinced that him singing the michigan fight song from the top of our stadium made us lose. i hope soemthing really bad happens to him.

3. suzy boozy's engaged!!! i finally get to experience a mercer county wedding. can't wait.

stealing

2005-08-21T21:31:00.000-04:00

so i am stealing internet from someone who lives in my building.

summer's over

2005-08-19T12:41:00.000-04:00

i'm back at school and classes start up again on monday. woo hoo. can't wait. i'm dying with anticipation.

JS and SP had a wine and cheese right before i headed back. got a little drunk. then i went to a bar. and got really drunk. that was a fun night.

i finally said something to AD about how's weird he's been. nothing too horrible - i definately could have said worse. i just told him that he was one of the few people i really wanted to spend time with this summer, and that i was really disappointed in him for never making much of an effort to hang our with me at all. he said he was sorry. and i think i made him feel a little bad, but considering that he made me feel pretty bad all summer, i really didn't give a shit.

misc. updates

2005-07-28T23:18:00.000-04:00

so kate wrote me a "where have you been?" comment - and she's right. i haven't blogged in over a month! craziness. however, i have been keeping track of hers, and D's (especially since he filled out my application).

so here's a qick update

i have a new potential BF, MC. yup - thats boyfriend. i think MC''s pretty much perfect for me - no application needed. but i'm trying to take it slow since we're only both in cleveland for the summer (both working for the city as law clerks), and i can't seem to commit to boyfriend-girlfriend status quite yet without seeing how the long distance thing is going to work out. mostly, i'm trying not to let my heart get to far in front of my head at this point. i'll do a whole different post on this.

i decided to skip the "friendship breakup". instead i've just quit putting in a ton of effort. i've tried multiple times to take the first step, but its not getting me any closer to any sort of resolution. so, i'm taking a step back, just far enough to see if he's going to step forward.

the internship ends next week. while i'm stoked to have nothing to do for 2 full weeks before school starts again, i think i'm gonna miss it. i won't get to see MC everyday. and i won't get to take extended "government" lunches with any of the other 20 interns. as much as i hated not getting paid for the second summer in a row, i'm going to be leaving the city with a few more lines to add to the resume, and a bunch of new friends. i guess that's a fair trade.

friendship breakup

2005-06-22T15:56:00.000-04:00

do guys even understand the significance of a friendship break-up. you know. where you say to a friend "i don't think we should be friends anymore". similar to a break up where you say to the person you're dating "i don't think we should see each other anymore."

i've never actually done the formal friendship breakup before, (to be honest, i'm not sure i've ever dealt with a proper actual breakup before either, but that's not the point here) but i am considering one at the moment.

i've let go of friends and acquaintances that deserve to be let go. and sometimes, i've even allowed them to come back, but never in the same capacity.

however the would-be dumpee in this example is a Y chromo, so i'm thinking the impact of the actual breakup would be completely lost on him. i think i might just revert to "avoidance" and see what happens. maybe he'll get the hint.

while i think the breakup would be a good thing on one hand. i think i'll be really sad. i think sometimes it hurts more to lose a friend than a relationship.

bonnawho?? Bonna-you!

2005-06-19T23:05:00.000-04:00

so here's my bonnaroo recap. I've been postponing it since right after i got back i was havign some excessively harsh feelings about the people i went with, and i didn't want to write a bunch of stuf i didn't mean, and would have to edit later. let's just say that by the end of the trip, after 5 days of not showering, i hated everyone, and no one was my friend.

overall the trip was really fun. 3 girls (me, JS and SP) and 2 boys (AD and bird). i will have to say that for a lot of it i did feel 3rd wheelish since JS and SP are current roommates, so that was a little peevish. the music was really good. and i realized how naive i am about drugs. like what are mollies? and why is that hippie asking me if i want chocolate? well mollies are ecstasy, and the "chocolate" is made with mushrooms. stay away from the chocolate!!

blogapalooza

2005-06-16T14:34:00.000-04:00

so yesterday was really eventful, (considering i was at work) so i'm dividing this blog into subsections:

WHY I LOVE LANNY

so, lan's one of my best guy friends from undergrad. i've been kinda sad lately so i email him yesterday with this:

"i'm broken. send a hug and something funny"

he responds with:

"HUG!! If this doens't cheer you up, i don't know what will" and the rest of the email is a bunch of michigan jokes.

it was great. i only wish that the "hug" had been for real. i miss having a really good guyfriend around. especially one that understands that sometimes all i need is a hug and a laugh to feel better.

PETE YORN IS F-ING SEXY

ok, seriously, pete's hot. and he's going on tour. he's got a show in cleveland and in columbus in july.

so I message AD about it since he does concert reviews and can usually score free tickets and bring a guest. anyways, he's all "pete yorn is lame". so that was a no go. but thinking about it anyways, i would hate to see a band/concert i really like with AD since he's such a prick about music. he's a music snob. he's like the pretensious record store guy that makes fun of you for buying an album that gets played on the radio. plus it looks like AD's back into his "i'm a dick" phase. but that's a whole different story.

then i emailed emily about it, and she wants to go, so it looks like its going to be columbus for pete. at the newport. where i first saw him 3 years ago. yay!! with me and emily together at the show - there's always potential for mad fun and a chance to meet pete!

last time em and i saw pete, em puked in the sink, i almost got into a fight with some butch lesbians, and i called RK's little brother to pick us up to take us to a party only to have him drive to emily's house and grab us water from the kitchen cuz we ddn't feel like moving.

BASEBALL IS SUPER-COOL

So I drive home from work, and literally as i pull into my town, j.doug calls me. turns out BE (who's also in cleveland for the summer) got 4 tickets to the indians game from her firm. game's at 7. do i want to go? Hell yeah i tell him.

so 15 minutes later, j.doug picks me up, and we head back downtown (where we both work) on the rapid. we meet up with BE and her fiance and find out that the seats are awesome. they were next to the bull pen, 3 rows from the field. AND j.doug has a friend who managers all the concessions in the jake. so we got free food and beer!

so not only did i see 11 innings of a fantastic game for only $3 (rapid fare) but i also got the bullpen catcher to toss me a ball in the bottom of the ninth.

why its fun to work at city hall...

2005-06-14T13:29:00.000-04:00

its fun to work at city hall because while waiting outside to meet a friend for lunch you can watch a protestor drive up in an old station wagon, with billboards attached to it, argue with a police officer who wants him to move his car. you can also watch said protestor pull into a free space a few yards ahead, and listen to him rant and rave about the 28 new cameras to be installed at red lights.

blonde boycott

2005-05-31T23:28:00.000-04:00

ok, so generally i doubt have problems with blonde haired girls. but at the moment i do.
i have decided to boycott the "dukes of hazzard" movie. and i dig dukes of hazzard. and i LOVE johnny knoxville. but i'm boycotting. i will not pay 8 bucks to see that movie in the theater. wanna know why?
BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T MAKE JESSICA SIMPSON DYE HER HAIR BROWN. DAISY DUKE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BRUNETTE!!!!!
that's why. as a brunette i take offense to this. daisy duke is one of the very few symbols of all out brunette sex appeal. i find jessica simpson's unwillingness to go brunette an insult. everyone is going freaking blonde. and daisy duke, a classic symbol of brown-haired hotness, is no more. i'm pissed. i'm tired of the man trying to tell me what's attractive. BRUNETTE IS AWESOME YOU DOUCHE-BAG!!
oh, and jessica simpson should not be taking all of my anti-blonde rage right now either. kelly clarkson used to be so cute with her brown curls, wholesomeness and normal sized body. and then what happened? she went blonde and started dressing like a skanky whore (have you seen her knew video?? who wears bodysuits anymore??). and lindsey lohan. she had pretty red hair, and now she's just another anorexic blonde actress. she needs to eat a sandwich (or 10) and fire her hairdresser for doing that to her hair.

irritation

2005-05-17T12:07:00.000-04:00

so my car is sick. not sure whats wrong with him yet - i have to take him to the dealership. but that's not what's bothering me. my dad is being a jerk about it. i woke up this morning, worked out, and he said that we could take it to the dealership after. so i showered and got ready and whatnot. then, he's like, i have to go meet so-and-so afterwards, so you can come with me. and i said that i didnt want to do that since that would just waste my entire day, so could he go meet whomever he needed to meet, and we could take the car in after. and he just started yelling at me!

weird dream

2005-04-24T09:44:00.000-04:00

its 930 am on a sunday. and i'm at panera getting ready to get my learn on. its a bid day of trusts and estates for me. its gonna be great!

anyways. i had a weird dream last night. here are the bits and pieces i remember.

So the dream took place at AD's house. only it wasn't his house. the dream house was gigrondous and was like one of those houses from gone with the wind. it had a ballroom. and i think i was staying there, and AD was having a party. a fancy one. anyways, i remember in the dream i was wandering from room to room. i'm not sure why, but i think i was looking for AD. but i was in AD's room and he had the same sheets on his bed that i have. these blue and white ones i took from my parents' house that have flowers on them. and i remember thinking i had to ask him where he got his because i needed new pillowcases. and he wasn't in there. and for a second i thought that maybe i was in my room, but the bed wasn't made, and i always make my bed. and i know it was his roomm, cuz in the dream i picked up a picture of his brother that was on his shelf.

anyways, at some point i am trying to get ready for this fancy party and i am wearing the sheet from the bed. and i had made it into a dress. the dress had a train. it was a fairly elaborate dress to be made from a sheet.

and then i went down to the party. in some glittery dress from the evening gown portion of a beauty pagent. and my hair was long, but it was up. and it was big. and i was walking around this ballroom looking for AD. but i couldn't find him. but his mom was there. and invited me over for dinner. and i was still walking around in this giant room, not recognizing anyone. and Ben was there in a cream colored suit. and he asked me to dance with him. but i didn't want to because i was still looking for AD. and then Ben told me that i was beautiful, and then i danced with him.

and then i woke up. and what i remember of the dream kinda bothers me. what's it mean?

2005-04-14T21:05:00.000-04:00

can i just make someone like me? seriously.
this is getting old. it's going nowhere with Ben.
NOWHERE.
we made out once, over a month ago. we talk when we see each other and over IM.
we are definately "friends"
this is so lame!
why can't i ever decide to like boys that like me??
this is so typical AJ behavior.

Root, root root for the home team....

2005-04-12T10:23:00.000-04:00

Sunday night ended horribly. i got into it with my mom when she called at 11.30 at night, and i was in bed. basically, the job i got for this summer working in cleveland isnt good enough for her to brag to her friends about, and i am therefore a waste of space. well, that's what i got out of that. that's not exactly what she was saying, but i was hurt by it, and i don't feel like tryign to justify her side of it. i'm just not that nice.

anyways, the fight with mom made me cry for an hour on the phone with RK, and led me to have a really bad night's sleep.

BUT when i got up, i got ready and drove to Cleveland, picked up RK and went to a pre-party at AD's cousins before we went to the indian's home opener. bad ass. the most random group of people, who were all totally cool. tons of food. i think i left covered in peanuts. RK, the vegetarian that she is, actually expressed the desire for a hot dog b/c they smelled so damn good. beers, and cookies. pizza and wings. so much fun, despite the loss to chicago.

AD and i were pretty normal, as far as we can be considering our relationship is so abnormal. and AD and RK exchanged numbers, so hopefully, they'll be able to hang out, and he can keep RK company until i get home for the summer.

but if yesterday was a preview for this summer, then i can't wait. i had so much fun.

The Screening Process

2005-04-11T02:15:00.000-04:00

i can't sleep. and RK and i just had a convo about finding a better screening process for the guys we date. we tend to date complete assholes. and i would love to just hand out applications and surveys. so here is the "must haves" on it.

The Application
Name (including aliases and nicknames)
Address
Age - Date of Birth
Astrological Sign
Occupation
Education
SAT Scores - for that matter --> any standardized testing scores
Previous employment - ALL old jobs must be listed
Jean Size - to ensure that no guy i ever date wears the same or a smaller size than me.
3 non-male references (one must be an Ex) and these must be listed along with contact info for sisters.
Criminal history

The Survey - it wouldn't necessarily have right or wrong answers. Instead, it would have Best answers, better answers, acceptable answers, bad answers, and worst answers ever. ****

1. 5 adjectives to describe yourself.

2. Favorite animal.

3. Top 5 bands/musicians/singers.

4. Best concert you're ever been too.

5. Favorite Book

6. Favorite Movie

7. Favorite Holiday.

8. Favorite teacher before Undergrad and why.

9. Perfect Meal.

10. Favorite Color.

I'm finally tired. I have way more for another day.

****So I used to have how I would "rate" answers in parenthesis but since apparently that makes me a judgy-judgerton, i took them out. they were not suggested answers!!! I just wanted to find someone who's got stuff in common with me dammit!

the best day ever...

2005-04-05T22:06:00.000-04:00

i would just like to recap today....AJ's best day ever!!!

6 am -- my alarm goes off. i decide that class is over-rated, rolled over and reset my alarm for 8.

10 am -- after showering and eating, and watching a little regis and kelly, i made it to evidence class

10.15 am -- as soon as i got online in class, i got an IM from AD. inviting me to the Indian's Home opener! hell yeah!

10.20 am -- 11.30 am - ended up talking online with Ben and AD for the rest of class. suffice it to say, i need to get someone's notes from today's lecture.

noon - 2 pm --KN picks me up and we go rollerblading. first time for me, and i only fell once! then got coney dogs. yum!

2.30ish to 3.30ish -- went shopping for an Indians shirt. gotta get a new one for the big day! found one at TJmaxx for $5!!! score!

3.30ish -- talked to AD online again. turns out the tix are free! its his treat! he bought a block of 20 seats to take all his friends to the game. how can i be mad at him when he does something so sweet??? yeah. can't. not only that, he might have an extra ticket so that RK can go! how nice is that?!

5.30ish -- go to blockbuster and get new movies. get a call from LB. she's being a good wife, and cooking me panera.

6-9ish -- watched "spanglish" and ate panera. and pretended to do some schoolwork.

9 -- bummed. wanted to watch "scrubs" and outline. but stupid toledo had to put on some program about st. jude's hospital. pissed. that shit belongs on PBS. but i complained about it on my away message, and Ben IMed me and totally agreed with me. and i like him. so that made me happy again.

9.30 -- our power went out randomly. no big. but then.....

9.32? -- LB ran outside to get something from her car, and stepped on a frog. sadly, the frog didn't make it. but i laughed my ass off.

now, i'm getting ready for bed. hopefully best day ever will continue to tomorrow :) too bad i have to make up my slackerness from today. boo.

Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding ...

2005-04-03T17:41:00.000-04:00

right now, in my world. birds and bees really are having sex because i'm not!
its springtime now. my "winter of discontent" has got to be over.
i haven't even made out in like a month!!!!
i'm going thru such a draught.
i need a fuck buddy badly.
or a battery operated friend.
me not getting any is never a good thing.
it leads to bad decisions.
and hooking up with boys i don't like.
and there actually is a boy i like, and he won't make out with me!
what is wrong with him!!!

Tonight we're going to party like its 2002...

2005-03-31T16:58:00.000-05:00

i am regressing.
hardcore.
yesterday i decided that i was still in my senior year at OSU instead of in my second year of law school.
it was 70 degrees and sunny. its never sunny here (hence, the waiting for the sun...). so i have class in the morning, that i went to. then i went to the park with KN and took her 160 lb. puppy for a walk. after that, i went home and changed clothes for class, and KN and i got soem mexican.
and somehow, KN convinced me to get a margarita. i think this is were the trouble began. i thought, one margi before class won't be bad, and we were watching an hour long video anyways, so i wouldn't really have to be too focused.
too bad this little lunchtime margi was hella strong. and that turned into KN talking about going out after my class, and that led to, let's just go out now.
and so, i skipped my class, and went to the bar at 4 pm. and was in my bed by 10 pm. Six hours or wonderful afternoon drinking.
it was a perfect wanna-still-be-in-undergrad day.

belief system

2005-03-24T23:44:00.000-05:00

I BELIEVE:

in my family - even when i'm yelling at screaming at them, they're still there.
in the goddesses - the closest girls i have to sisters, they never fail me
in 66 & 71 West norwich - my family for 4 years in undergrad. no one has what we all had. we were so lucky
that children really are our future - seriously, we have to keep taking care of kids so that we're old we have someone to take care of us, and you know, wipe our asses for us when we can't anymore
in music - sometimes a stupid lyric can stay in your heart forever, and get you thru the worst day of your life or that song you hear in the morning stays with you for 3 days, and without knowing it, you hum it and somehow you focus on the stressful stuff just a little bit less.

that you need to know who you are and understand where you have before you can ever try to be that person that you want to be in the future
that there will be both an african american president and a female president in my lifetime
that brie, bread and a good glass of red wine is a perfect meal
in humor - if i didn't laugh at myself at least once a day, i'd cry my eyes out constantly
that good friends are like free therapy
in the power of the pen - words have so much strength and so much power
that there's nothing hotter than a guy on a stage with a guitar
that you can still be loney in a room full of people
in the ohio state buckeyes
that even if you feel like you can't, if you try hard enough, you can
that somethign better is out there, and someday i'll find it
in dancing to your own beat
in myself (most days)

2005-03-17T22:31:00.000-05:00

"there's the people you've known forever. who like....know you....in this way. that other people can't. they've seen you change. they've let you change." --- angela. "my so-called life"

i talked to my best firends last night. RK and AK. we all live in different cities. we did the next best thing to actually hanging out together: we did a conference call that lasted 3 hours and got wasted together.

i needed it. and i thank them for it. sometimes, to figure out who you are, and what you might be, you need to talk to people who know where you've been. and who know you better than you know yourself.

oh, shout out to AK. She's a M4, and matched in CHICAGO!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

Do you remember?

2005-03-14T20:19:00.000-05:00

Do you remember when we first met? i sure do
it was some time in early september
you were lazy about it, you made me wait around
i was so crazy about you i didn't mind

i was late for class, i locked my bike to yours
it wasn't hard to find, you painted flowers on it
i guess that i was afraid that if you rolled away
you might not roll back my direction real soon

i was crazy about you then and now
the craziest thing of all is over ten years have gone by
and you're still mine, we're locked in time
let's rewind

do you remember when we first moved in together?
the piano took up the living room
you played me boogie-woogie i played you love songs
you'd say we're playing house now you still say we are

we built our getaway up in a tree we found
we felt so far away but we were still in town
now i remember watching that old tree burn down
i took a picture that i don't like to look at

well al these times they come and go
and alone don't seem so long
over ten years have gone by
we can't rewind, we're locked in time
but you're still mine
do you remember?

- jack johnson: Do you Remember

i just bought the new jack johnson album today since i was bummed. and then i heard this song, and it's just like how i'm feeling with the whole AD thing. we're still doing the same shit to each other that we did 10 years ago.