Waiting for the Sun....

Re:8

2011-08-01T07:01:00.001-04:00

..If you want visit this site in 5 minutes you'll miss the chance of your life! http://resistances.org/friends.page.php?eniyahoo=59ib3

just in case...

2005-11-25T15:48:00.000-05:00

just in case you ever get in a fight with your brother about what a slob he is, and say something like, "What do I look like, your mom?" be prepared for him to answer that truthfully with a "yes"

cattiness?

2005-11-08T08:54:00.000-05:00

i was just thinking about this:

most of my friends are about my age - so around 25. about half of them go tanning. often. and not the spray on shit. its the stand in a booth-naked-for 10 minutes-several times a week tanning. and i guess tanning doesn't make sense to me, having been born with a nice shade of brown, but also because everyone know's how bad it is with all the UV rays and whatnot (which is why i wear SPF everyday).

anyways, the whole point of my ramblings is that when we're all 30 or so, these girls will look closer to 40, and i'll look (hopefully) like i'm still in my 20s. without having to get botox or some shit to make me look younger.

and that makes me happy.

RTOTD

2005-10-26T12:58:00.000-04:00

did you ever notice that the people who get all involved in other people's lives, don't really have much going on in their own?

"i don't care about law school - blog!" -- kate

2005-10-25T11:27:00.000-04:00

truth be told, i don't think i care much about law school either. 7 months left, and i'm at that point where i just want to get Cs in the rest of my classes and be be done already. anyways, here's the law school lastest:

MPRE
thats the Multistate Professional Responsibilty Exam. basically, ethics. its in a little over a week. so i've been studying. i don't know where i am with this stuff yet. it seems like common sense, and i just did the review class for it, and it made me feel like i didn't have to study at all. if only it were that easy. practice tests until Nov. 4th. superfun stuff.

CREDITS
So, i think i only need to take 12 credits next semester to finish. that'll be nice. but, i really fucked up some stuff from this past summer. apparently, i was supposed to keep a log of all my hours to make sure i had 56 work hours for each credit. i wanted 6 credits so i need 336 hours. i have no idea if that happened. and i can't seem to reach anyone at the city to verify my hours for me. oh, and i think my professor hates me.

my big dilemma on this is that if i don't get the 6 hours from this summer, i'll need to take more classes. 15 next semester won't be a problem. but trying to fit in 18? that'll be hell. hopefully, i'll get at least 5 hours for this summer.

BAR EXAM
i think i need to sign up for that. i guess i have to figure out what state i want to live in for the rest of my life first. ohio is my default choice. i've decided that if i haven't decided what state i want to be in by jan. 15, then, i'll take the bar in ohio. i'd really prefer not to do that. i want to live in California! someone come move there with me!

JOB
haven't really started looking yet. and it's recruitment season. looking for a job, studying for the MPRE and trying to keep up in my classes? giant pain in my ass.

so that's my law school life. and i can't seem to remember why i decided to do this to myself.

guilty pleasure

2005-09-27T20:36:00.000-04:00

i am obsessed with the MTV show, "Laguna Beach". i have to watch it. i love it. it is both the best and the worst show ever. i don't know if it's real or fake. if its fake, it's fucking funny. and if it's real, it makes me feel so much better about myself and my own high school experience. the girls are so catty and bitchy! and they're all a bunch of rich, stuck up airheads. the boys are just there for show, and look way too old to be in high school. it's awesome! i love it! and i totally hated kristin last season with the whole stephen/LC/kristin triangle, but she's growing on me. it's just so fun to watch.

across the field

2005-09-12T22:16:00.000-04:00

i bought a new t-shirt for the OSU/Texas game that's got "across the field" written on the front and i big block "O" on the back. i love it. i had a great time at the game (minus actually going to the game). i got to see the girls, and i ran into random people i hadn't seen since graduation. soemtimes i forget how much i love the excitement of being one of the thousands of people walking around lane avenue wearing scarlet and grey. i loved the whole weekend in columbus - minus the final score. here are the highlights:

1. friday night as we're leaving carlisle, this cop pushes MC in the back as we're leaving, and when he turned around, the f-ing cop pepper sprayed him! no reason. the fucking ass. its always a good idea to fuck with the only sober guy in the group. as it was, MC isn't the biggest fan of OSU, and now, i'm not sure i'll i've be able to switch him over.

2. so watching game day saturday morning, and there's some bit with mr. jessica simpson and university fight songs. and for some reason, ESPN decided michigan has the best fight song, and nick lachey sang it from the top of the shoe! i wanted the crowd outside to beat him down so bad! he's from OHIO! he fucking knows better!! i am convinced that him singing the michigan fight song from the top of our stadium made us lose. i hope soemthing really bad happens to him.

3. suzy boozy's engaged!!! i finally get to experience a mercer county wedding. can't wait.

stealing

2005-08-21T21:31:00.000-04:00

so i am stealing internet from someone who lives in my building.

summer's over

2005-08-19T12:41:00.000-04:00

i'm back at school and classes start up again on monday. woo hoo. can't wait. i'm dying with anticipation.

JS and SP had a wine and cheese right before i headed back. got a little drunk. then i went to a bar. and got really drunk. that was a fun night.

i finally said something to AD about how's weird he's been. nothing too horrible - i definately could have said worse. i just told him that he was one of the few people i really wanted to spend time with this summer, and that i was really disappointed in him for never making much of an effort to hang our with me at all. he said he was sorry. and i think i made him feel a little bad, but considering that he made me feel pretty bad all summer, i really didn't give a shit.

misc. updates

2005-07-28T23:18:00.000-04:00

so kate wrote me a "where have you been?" comment - and she's right. i haven't blogged in over a month! craziness. however, i have been keeping track of hers, and D's (especially since he filled out my application).

so here's a qick update

i have a new potential BF, MC. yup - thats boyfriend. i think MC''s pretty much perfect for me - no application needed. but i'm trying to take it slow since we're only both in cleveland for the summer (both working for the city as law clerks), and i can't seem to commit to boyfriend-girlfriend status quite yet without seeing how the long distance thing is going to work out. mostly, i'm trying not to let my heart get to far in front of my head at this point. i'll do a whole different post on this.

i decided to skip the "friendship breakup". instead i've just quit putting in a ton of effort. i've tried multiple times to take the first step, but its not getting me any closer to any sort of resolution. so, i'm taking a step back, just far enough to see if he's going to step forward.

the internship ends next week. while i'm stoked to have nothing to do for 2 full weeks before school starts again, i think i'm gonna miss it. i won't get to see MC everyday. and i won't get to take extended "government" lunches with any of the other 20 interns. as much as i hated not getting paid for the second summer in a row, i'm going to be leaving the city with a few more lines to add to the resume, and a bunch of new friends. i guess that's a fair trade.

friendship breakup

2005-06-22T15:56:00.000-04:00

do guys even understand the significance of a friendship break-up. you know. where you say to a friend "i don't think we should be friends anymore". similar to a break up where you say to the person you're dating "i don't think we should see each other anymore."

i've never actually done the formal friendship breakup before, (to be honest, i'm not sure i've ever dealt with a proper actual breakup before either, but that's not the point here) but i am considering one at the moment.

i've let go of friends and acquaintances that deserve to be let go. and sometimes, i've even allowed them to come back, but never in the same capacity.

however the would-be dumpee in this example is a Y chromo, so i'm thinking the impact of the actual breakup would be completely lost on him. i think i might just revert to "avoidance" and see what happens. maybe he'll get the hint.

while i think the breakup would be a good thing on one hand. i think i'll be really sad. i think sometimes it hurts more to lose a friend than a relationship.

bonnawho?? Bonna-you!

2005-06-19T23:05:00.000-04:00

so here's my bonnaroo recap. I've been postponing it since right after i got back i was havign some excessively harsh feelings about the people i went with, and i didn't want to write a bunch of stuf i didn't mean, and would have to edit later. let's just say that by the end of the trip, after 5 days of not showering, i hated everyone, and no one was my friend.

overall the trip was really fun. 3 girls (me, JS and SP) and 2 boys (AD and bird). i will have to say that for a lot of it i did feel 3rd wheelish since JS and SP are current roommates, so that was a little peevish. the music was really good. and i realized how naive i am about drugs. like what are mollies? and why is that hippie asking me if i want chocolate? well mollies are ecstasy, and the "chocolate" is made with mushrooms. stay away from the chocolate!!

blogapalooza

2005-06-16T14:34:00.000-04:00

so yesterday was really eventful, (considering i was at work) so i'm dividing this blog into subsections:

WHY I LOVE LANNY

so, lan's one of my best guy friends from undergrad. i've been kinda sad lately so i email him yesterday with this:

"i'm broken. send a hug and something funny"

he responds with:

"HUG!! If this doens't cheer you up, i don't know what will" and the rest of the email is a bunch of michigan jokes.

it was great. i only wish that the "hug" had been for real. i miss having a really good guyfriend around. especially one that understands that sometimes all i need is a hug and a laugh to feel better.

PETE YORN IS F-ING SEXY

ok, seriously, pete's hot. and he's going on tour. he's got a show in cleveland and in columbus in july.

so I message AD about it since he does concert reviews and can usually score free tickets and bring a guest. anyways, he's all "pete yorn is lame". so that was a no go. but thinking about it anyways, i would hate to see a band/concert i really like with AD since he's such a prick about music. he's a music snob. he's like the pretensious record store guy that makes fun of you for buying an album that gets played on the radio. plus it looks like AD's back into his "i'm a dick" phase. but that's a whole different story.

then i emailed emily about it, and she wants to go, so it looks like its going to be columbus for pete. at the newport. where i first saw him 3 years ago. yay!! with me and emily together at the show - there's always potential for mad fun and a chance to meet pete!

last time em and i saw pete, em puked in the sink, i almost got into a fight with some butch lesbians, and i called RK's little brother to pick us up to take us to a party only to have him drive to emily's house and grab us water from the kitchen cuz we ddn't feel like moving.

BASEBALL IS SUPER-COOL

So I drive home from work, and literally as i pull into my town, j.doug calls me. turns out BE (who's also in cleveland for the summer) got 4 tickets to the indians game from her firm. game's at 7. do i want to go? Hell yeah i tell him.

so 15 minutes later, j.doug picks me up, and we head back downtown (where we both work) on the rapid. we meet up with BE and her fiance and find out that the seats are awesome. they were next to the bull pen, 3 rows from the field. AND j.doug has a friend who managers all the concessions in the jake. so we got free food and beer!

so not only did i see 11 innings of a fantastic game for only $3 (rapid fare) but i also got the bullpen catcher to toss me a ball in the bottom of the ninth.

why its fun to work at city hall...

2005-06-14T13:29:00.000-04:00

its fun to work at city hall because while waiting outside to meet a friend for lunch you can watch a protestor drive up in an old station wagon, with billboards attached to it, argue with a police officer who wants him to move his car. you can also watch said protestor pull into a free space a few yards ahead, and listen to him rant and rave about the 28 new cameras to be installed at red lights.

blonde boycott

2005-05-31T23:28:00.000-04:00

ok, so generally i doubt have problems with blonde haired girls. but at the moment i do.
i have decided to boycott the "dukes of hazzard" movie. and i dig dukes of hazzard. and i LOVE johnny knoxville. but i'm boycotting. i will not pay 8 bucks to see that movie in the theater. wanna know why?
BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T MAKE JESSICA SIMPSON DYE HER HAIR BROWN. DAISY DUKE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BRUNETTE!!!!!
that's why. as a brunette i take offense to this. daisy duke is one of the very few symbols of all out brunette sex appeal. i find jessica simpson's unwillingness to go brunette an insult. everyone is going freaking blonde. and daisy duke, a classic symbol of brown-haired hotness, is no more. i'm pissed. i'm tired of the man trying to tell me what's attractive. BRUNETTE IS AWESOME YOU DOUCHE-BAG!!
oh, and jessica simpson should not be taking all of my anti-blonde rage right now either. kelly clarkson used to be so cute with her brown curls, wholesomeness and normal sized body. and then what happened? she went blonde and started dressing like a skanky whore (have you seen her knew video?? who wears bodysuits anymore??). and lindsey lohan. she had pretty red hair, and now she's just another anorexic blonde actress. she needs to eat a sandwich (or 10) and fire her hairdresser for doing that to her hair.

irritation

2005-05-17T12:07:00.000-04:00

so my car is sick. not sure whats wrong with him yet - i have to take him to the dealership. but that's not what's bothering me. my dad is being a jerk about it. i woke up this morning, worked out, and he said that we could take it to the dealership after. so i showered and got ready and whatnot. then, he's like, i have to go meet so-and-so afterwards, so you can come with me. and i said that i didnt want to do that since that would just waste my entire day, so could he go meet whomever he needed to meet, and we could take the car in after. and he just started yelling at me!

weird dream

2005-04-24T09:44:00.000-04:00

its 930 am on a sunday. and i'm at panera getting ready to get my learn on. its a bid day of trusts and estates for me. its gonna be great!

anyways. i had a weird dream last night. here are the bits and pieces i remember.

So the dream took place at AD's house. only it wasn't his house. the dream house was gigrondous and was like one of those houses from gone with the wind. it had a ballroom. and i think i was staying there, and AD was having a party. a fancy one. anyways, i remember in the dream i was wandering from room to room. i'm not sure why, but i think i was looking for AD. but i was in AD's room and he had the same sheets on his bed that i have. these blue and white ones i took from my parents' house that have flowers on them. and i remember thinking i had to ask him where he got his because i needed new pillowcases. and he wasn't in there. and for a second i thought that maybe i was in my room, but the bed wasn't made, and i always make my bed. and i know it was his roomm, cuz in the dream i picked up a picture of his brother that was on his shelf.

anyways, at some point i am trying to get ready for this fancy party and i am wearing the sheet from the bed. and i had made it into a dress. the dress had a train. it was a fairly elaborate dress to be made from a sheet.

and then i went down to the party. in some glittery dress from the evening gown portion of a beauty pagent. and my hair was long, but it was up. and it was big. and i was walking around this ballroom looking for AD. but i couldn't find him. but his mom was there. and invited me over for dinner. and i was still walking around in this giant room, not recognizing anyone. and Ben was there in a cream colored suit. and he asked me to dance with him. but i didn't want to because i was still looking for AD. and then Ben told me that i was beautiful, and then i danced with him.

and then i woke up. and what i remember of the dream kinda bothers me. what's it mean?

2005-04-14T21:05:00.000-04:00

can i just make someone like me? seriously.
this is getting old. it's going nowhere with Ben.
NOWHERE.
we made out once, over a month ago. we talk when we see each other and over IM.
we are definately "friends"
this is so lame!
why can't i ever decide to like boys that like me??
this is so typical AJ behavior.

Root, root root for the home team....

2005-04-12T10:23:00.000-04:00

Sunday night ended horribly. i got into it with my mom when she called at 11.30 at night, and i was in bed. basically, the job i got for this summer working in cleveland isnt good enough for her to brag to her friends about, and i am therefore a waste of space. well, that's what i got out of that. that's not exactly what she was saying, but i was hurt by it, and i don't feel like tryign to justify her side of it. i'm just not that nice.

anyways, the fight with mom made me cry for an hour on the phone with RK, and led me to have a really bad night's sleep.

BUT when i got up, i got ready and drove to Cleveland, picked up RK and went to a pre-party at AD's cousins before we went to the indian's home opener. bad ass. the most random group of people, who were all totally cool. tons of food. i think i left covered in peanuts. RK, the vegetarian that she is, actually expressed the desire for a hot dog b/c they smelled so damn good. beers, and cookies. pizza and wings. so much fun, despite the loss to chicago.

AD and i were pretty normal, as far as we can be considering our relationship is so abnormal. and AD and RK exchanged numbers, so hopefully, they'll be able to hang out, and he can keep RK company until i get home for the summer.

but if yesterday was a preview for this summer, then i can't wait. i had so much fun.

The Screening Process

2005-04-11T02:15:00.000-04:00

i can't sleep. and RK and i just had a convo about finding a better screening process for the guys we date. we tend to date complete assholes. and i would love to just hand out applications and surveys. so here is the "must haves" on it.

The Application
Name (including aliases and nicknames)
Address
Age - Date of Birth
Astrological Sign
Occupation
Education
SAT Scores - for that matter --> any standardized testing scores
Previous employment - ALL old jobs must be listed
Jean Size - to ensure that no guy i ever date wears the same or a smaller size than me.
3 non-male references (one must be an Ex) and these must be listed along with contact info for sisters.
Criminal history

The Survey - it wouldn't necessarily have right or wrong answers. Instead, it would have Best answers, better answers, acceptable answers, bad answers, and worst answers ever. ****

1. 5 adjectives to describe yourself.

2. Favorite animal.

3. Top 5 bands/musicians/singers.

4. Best concert you're ever been too.

5. Favorite Book

6. Favorite Movie

7. Favorite Holiday.

8. Favorite teacher before Undergrad and why.

9. Perfect Meal.

10. Favorite Color.

I'm finally tired. I have way more for another day.

****So I used to have how I would "rate" answers in parenthesis but since apparently that makes me a judgy-judgerton, i took them out. they were not suggested answers!!! I just wanted to find someone who's got stuff in common with me dammit!

the best day ever...

2005-04-05T22:06:00.000-04:00

i would just like to recap today....AJ's best day ever!!!

6 am -- my alarm goes off. i decide that class is over-rated, rolled over and reset my alarm for 8.

10 am -- after showering and eating, and watching a little regis and kelly, i made it to evidence class

10.15 am -- as soon as i got online in class, i got an IM from AD. inviting me to the Indian's Home opener! hell yeah!

10.20 am -- 11.30 am - ended up talking online with Ben and AD for the rest of class. suffice it to say, i need to get someone's notes from today's lecture.

noon - 2 pm --KN picks me up and we go rollerblading. first time for me, and i only fell once! then got coney dogs. yum!

2.30ish to 3.30ish -- went shopping for an Indians shirt. gotta get a new one for the big day! found one at TJmaxx for $5!!! score!

3.30ish -- talked to AD online again. turns out the tix are free! its his treat! he bought a block of 20 seats to take all his friends to the game. how can i be mad at him when he does something so sweet??? yeah. can't. not only that, he might have an extra ticket so that RK can go! how nice is that?!

5.30ish -- go to blockbuster and get new movies. get a call from LB. she's being a good wife, and cooking me panera.

6-9ish -- watched "spanglish" and ate panera. and pretended to do some schoolwork.

9 -- bummed. wanted to watch "scrubs" and outline. but stupid toledo had to put on some program about st. jude's hospital. pissed. that shit belongs on PBS. but i complained about it on my away message, and Ben IMed me and totally agreed with me. and i like him. so that made me happy again.

9.30 -- our power went out randomly. no big. but then.....

9.32? -- LB ran outside to get something from her car, and stepped on a frog. sadly, the frog didn't make it. but i laughed my ass off.

now, i'm getting ready for bed. hopefully best day ever will continue to tomorrow :) too bad i have to make up my slackerness from today. boo.

Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding ...

2005-04-03T17:41:00.000-04:00

right now, in my world. birds and bees really are having sex because i'm not!
its springtime now. my "winter of discontent" has got to be over.
i haven't even made out in like a month!!!!
i'm going thru such a draught.
i need a fuck buddy badly.
or a battery operated friend.
me not getting any is never a good thing.
it leads to bad decisions.
and hooking up with boys i don't like.
and there actually is a boy i like, and he won't make out with me!
what is wrong with him!!!

Tonight we're going to party like its 2002...

2005-03-31T16:58:00.000-05:00

i am regressing.
hardcore.
yesterday i decided that i was still in my senior year at OSU instead of in my second year of law school.
it was 70 degrees and sunny. its never sunny here (hence, the waiting for the sun...). so i have class in the morning, that i went to. then i went to the park with KN and took her 160 lb. puppy for a walk. after that, i went home and changed clothes for class, and KN and i got soem mexican.
and somehow, KN convinced me to get a margarita. i think this is were the trouble began. i thought, one margi before class won't be bad, and we were watching an hour long video anyways, so i wouldn't really have to be too focused.
too bad this little lunchtime margi was hella strong. and that turned into KN talking about going out after my class, and that led to, let's just go out now.
and so, i skipped my class, and went to the bar at 4 pm. and was in my bed by 10 pm. Six hours or wonderful afternoon drinking.
it was a perfect wanna-still-be-in-undergrad day.

belief system

2005-03-24T23:44:00.000-05:00

I BELIEVE:

in my family - even when i'm yelling at screaming at them, they're still there.
in the goddesses - the closest girls i have to sisters, they never fail me
in 66 & 71 West norwich - my family for 4 years in undergrad. no one has what we all had. we were so lucky
that children really are our future - seriously, we have to keep taking care of kids so that we're old we have someone to take care of us, and you know, wipe our asses for us when we can't anymore
in music - sometimes a stupid lyric can stay in your heart forever, and get you thru the worst day of your life or that song you hear in the morning stays with you for 3 days, and without knowing it, you hum it and somehow you focus on the stressful stuff just a little bit less.

that you need to know who you are and understand where you have before you can ever try to be that person that you want to be in the future
that there will be both an african american president and a female president in my lifetime
that brie, bread and a good glass of red wine is a perfect meal
in humor - if i didn't laugh at myself at least once a day, i'd cry my eyes out constantly
that good friends are like free therapy
in the power of the pen - words have so much strength and so much power
that there's nothing hotter than a guy on a stage with a guitar
that you can still be loney in a room full of people
in the ohio state buckeyes
that even if you feel like you can't, if you try hard enough, you can
that somethign better is out there, and someday i'll find it
in dancing to your own beat
in myself (most days)

2005-03-17T22:31:00.000-05:00

"there's the people you've known forever. who like....know you....in this way. that other people can't. they've seen you change. they've let you change." --- angela. "my so-called life"

i talked to my best firends last night. RK and AK. we all live in different cities. we did the next best thing to actually hanging out together: we did a conference call that lasted 3 hours and got wasted together.

i needed it. and i thank them for it. sometimes, to figure out who you are, and what you might be, you need to talk to people who know where you've been. and who know you better than you know yourself.

oh, shout out to AK. She's a M4, and matched in CHICAGO!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

Do you remember?

2005-03-14T20:19:00.000-05:00

Do you remember when we first met? i sure do
it was some time in early september
you were lazy about it, you made me wait around
i was so crazy about you i didn't mind

i was late for class, i locked my bike to yours
it wasn't hard to find, you painted flowers on it
i guess that i was afraid that if you rolled away
you might not roll back my direction real soon

i was crazy about you then and now
the craziest thing of all is over ten years have gone by
and you're still mine, we're locked in time
let's rewind

do you remember when we first moved in together?
the piano took up the living room
you played me boogie-woogie i played you love songs
you'd say we're playing house now you still say we are

we built our getaway up in a tree we found
we felt so far away but we were still in town
now i remember watching that old tree burn down
i took a picture that i don't like to look at

well al these times they come and go
and alone don't seem so long
over ten years have gone by
we can't rewind, we're locked in time
but you're still mine
do you remember?

- jack johnson: Do you Remember

i just bought the new jack johnson album today since i was bummed. and then i heard this song, and it's just like how i'm feeling with the whole AD thing. we're still doing the same shit to each other that we did 10 years ago.

the letdown

2005-03-13T18:25:00.000-05:00

its funny how people can let you down so badly and not even know. generally i don't take a lot of stock in people. its the rare few that i actually feel like i can depend on. i'm used to the majority of the people in my life letting me down, so when one of the select few that i care about do it, its like this devastating blow that throws everything in my world off balance.

case in point: A.D. we've been friends for 10 years. since our freshmen year in high school. he's my back-up. he is (was, i haven't decided yet) one of my best friends. we talk almost every day. granted, its over IM, but still, everyday. we're each other's backup. we talk about what its going to be like when we get married. how our kids will hate us because we'll be so much funnier than them. and, sucks to be me since i have apparently held AD to a higher standard than the rest of the guys in my life.

i was home for a week. an entire week without class. a week where AD and i are actually in the same city for once. and he knows i'm home. and we never get to see eachother. so out of the 10 days i was in town, he called me once. ONCE. we hung out once by ourselves, after i'd already been home for a full week. and we saw eachother two other times other than that for mutual friends' birthday outings. normally, this wouldn't bother me this much, but before i even came home we'd talked about hanging out. just chilling and doing stupid shit like watching kung fu movies on his new gigromous t.v. or grabbing dinner at my favorite restaurant. but none of that happened.

and on the nights that we were out for the birthdays, he barely talked to me. he flirted with other girls in front of me! this shouldn't bother me, but it really did. it was the culmination of the whole week of AD basically forgetting that we're friends. he didn't even answer phone calls from me! i called him yesterday to see if he needed a ride since i had to drive (by myself!) to julie's party, and he never called me back. he calls everyone back! i've seen him. he was all "i figured i would just see you here".

it was really upsetting to me. he's not supposed to be that guy. he's supposed to be AD. one of my favorite boys. one of my best friends. he's supposed to help make things better, not worse. he's not supposed to be one of the boys that makes me cry.

i heart....

2005-03-02T22:56:00.000-05:00

i have a crush.
a boy in my class.
he's dreamy.
he's super smart.
and funny.
and really nice.

he always looks happy to see me
and he comes and reads with me during office hours.

he bought me a daisy for valentine's day....

......he's a really good kisser

shady mother f*cker

2005-02-18T22:50:00.000-05:00

lets just start off with, rick is a shady mother fucker.

from about the beginning of november up until right before my birthday. rick and i had been hanging out. and after finals, i pretty much decided that i didn't really like him. he's ok sober, but he's a pain in my ass if he's been drinking. and to be honest, he's not funny. at all. he likes to think he is, but really not funny. i can't date someone who isn't funny. anyways, so we both go home for winter break for what, 3 weeks? anyways, rick gets back together with an ex-girlfirend or whatever. no big. because i just don't like him that way.

and basically since we've got back to school this semester, we haven't even hung out. with the exception of the night i made him read me time as a bedtime story.

anyways, so about a week before barrister's ball, rick keeps calling me wasted one night trying to get me to make out with him. he's got a girlfriend now. that's so not cool. so i bascially avoid him as much as possible. but at barrister's i actually meet the girlfriend, who flew in for the formal. and she's so cute. and i feel so bad for her, since her boyfriend keeps trying to scam on her.

and then last night, one of the organizations i'm in sponsored a night at the bar. anyways, rick corners me, wanting to talk to me about us. and since there is no "us" nor was there ever really, i told him that, and that i didn't really have anything to say to him. especially not after we've both been drinking all night (which, by the way, is a big part of why i refused to talk to him. if he'd wanted to talk to me about this shit in the beginning of the night, before we started drinking, i probably would've).

so i avoid him for maybe another half hour, and he corners me again. so finally i just give in and sit down and let him try to talk. and he starts getting into how much he likes me. at which point, i choose to remind him that he has a girlfirend now, and i don't want anything to do with him. to which he tries to defend himself by saying, "matt told me you had a boyfriend". (matt is a friend of his, and mine, and is kinda dating one of my best friends here). anyways, i'm pretty pissed off anyways, and tell him that we're done talking. i find matt, told him what rick said. and of course, knowing, matt and rick, i know that matt never said that. call rick out on it, and he keeps blaming matt. saying that matt's lying, and that matt said i had a boyfriend. which even if i did have a boyfriend, or even if matt had told him that it, how does that justify rick trying to cheat on his girlfriend? yeah. it doesn't.

so when we all are getting ready to leave, rick starts holding this girl's hand. like rubbing her back type of shit. like that would make me jealous or something. didn't work. we leave. so on the cab ride home, rick calls me. still trying to come over to my apartment. still trying justify himself. and i'm pissed, and he's all, "i don't want you to be mad at me. i really like you" blah blah blah. so i hung up.

so f*cking shady.

i miss my hair :(

2005-02-16T23:45:00.000-05:00

i chopped my hair a few months ago. and i really missed it today.
it was so long and shiny! i can't believe i cut it all off!!! stupid, stupid, stupid!!!!****

i'm so vain about my hair. it is my favorite feature. i get lots of compliments on the quality of my wonderful, wonderful hair. its thick. it's a dark, pretty, brown. it's shiny. it's never been dyed! (although i've got some greys, i might have to start). it changes color in the sun. its my hyper-color hair!

i just want to put my hair in a high pony! or in braided pigtails (how indian is that? i need some red ribbons.) or maybe i can wear it down - long and glossy all the way down my back. is that so bad? and i can't any of it! stupid chin length hair.

i can barely flirt anymore without my hair. i can't flip it, or swing it, or run my hand thru it to get attention (ok, to be honest, i can still do these things, but they are just not effective).

i just really miss my long hair today.

****before you think i'm some vain, psycho freak, i donated the hair to locks of love

dramma, dramma, dramma

2005-02-13T22:46:00.000-05:00

ok first. before you sit there wondering, dramma is drama at its fakest. its the trivial shit people get all worked up about. my roommates in undergrad used to refer to all of our daily happenings as such. dramma.

anyways, LB is the queen of dramma. she has no clue. she turns everything into a production. i'll give you an example. she cries at everything. seriously. its actually really fucking annoying. it wouldn't be a big deal if she didnt make such a production about it. she'll be watching tv or a movie or whatever right, and she'll annouce that she's going to cry. and if for some reason she doesn't announce it, she'll start sniffling. loudly. and whining. and whimpering. just to make sure everyone in the room is aware that she is crying. dramma.

anyways. here's the most recent dramma. so we had our formal last night and LB had a flower in her hair for the event. it looked nice, right? but remember, its a real flower. flowers die. and after the formal's over, we're in our hotel room, and she's all "my flower's dying". like being all annoying about it. basically making it so that she is the center of attention even though all sorts of shit it going down. people are missing. a girl is locked out her room. a friend is in the bathroom puking. and my roommate cares only about her fucking flower. and that after beign out of water for, i don't know, like 7 hours, it is starting wilt and die.

so i look at her, point blank, and tell her i don't give a fuck about her stupid flower. and go into the bathroom to help hold the hair of my drunk friend, and help wipe up her puke. and you know what i hear while i'm in the bathroom cleaning up? how mean i am because i'm don't care about her flower.

ok, there's drunk. there's selfish drunk. and there is my roommate. the epitome of selfish, drunk dramma creating queen.

Ranting and Raving

2005-02-09T22:41:00.000-05:00

so i'm in this juvenile law class. and we were talking about unfit parents the other day. and some of the stuff we were discussing in class really got to me.
ok, so there are certain laws in place to protect girls against teen pregnancy. thats basically why we have statutory rape laws in every state. its an actual cited justification for it, right? so preventing teen pregnancies is fairly important to the nation.
ok, so keeping that in mind, why isn't birth control covered by insurance companies??? you know it costs most women around $30/month for birth control.
Oh, but you knwo what is covered by insurance????? FUCKING VIAGRA!!!!! what the fuck is that?!?!?
ok, and so, if insurance companies made birth control available to everyone who needed it, and made it affordable, wouldn't that help prevent the pregnancies the country is so concerned about?
and another point, and this one's a big one. so, GW (that cocksucker) is all concerned about abortion. him and his bible beater posse are all like, abortion is wrong, its killing a human, it goes against the bible, blah blah blah. right? anyways, if GW and bureaucaratic henchmen told the insurance companies to include birth control, then abortion really wouldn't be an issue would it? think about it. all those old fucks in congress who can't get it up anymore are the ones who pushed for viagra to be covered by medical insurance, so why can't they do it for birth control? apart from the fact that you know the Bush twins have been on birth control forever (cuz you know they're humping it up like bunnies...you know it. they like to party. they like to get down.), they don't push birth control because the republicans need abortion. they win elections on abortion. if abortion wasn't as issue, republicans would lose a lot of their support. they need abortion to be an issue. and in turn, GW won't put someone on the Supreme Court who would overturn Roe v. Wade. know why?
Because that would be the quickest way to get a democrat back in office.

its 4:40 in the fucking morning...

2005-02-06T04:40:00.000-05:00

its 4:30-ish a.m.
i'm awake, and i am not pleased. I had been sleeping, a nice sound sleep, and my fucking phone rang around 1 am, it was rick, and i ignored it and went back to bed. an hour later, my stupid phone vibrated about a zillion times (since i turned the ringer off after rick called). i didnt know the number, but they left a message. i checked and it turned out to be my friend eric, who coincidentally was out with rick and they were celebrating some kid's bday.
whatev. i went back to bed.
and then at fucking 3am my phone rings yet AGAIN. and its rick AGAIN. you think he would have gotten the hint. if im not going to answer the phone the first time you call, you think i'm going to answet the second? right. especially 2 hours later into the very early next morning.
and then my upstairs neighbor, jason, came home. and started playign his stereo. loud enough at 3 am for me to call him and have him turn it off. which he did right away. he's good about that.
anyways. after all that, i am still awake. can't sleep. and i have so much to do tomorrow its sick.

friendster or stalkers r us??

2005-02-01T15:53:00.000-05:00

i have a friendster stalker. i am not pleased. i blame sam.

this kid, kundan, who's FOB all the way, and lives in India is connected to me thru sam.
sam actually only has him on her friends list because he sent her a request and she felt bad rejecting him. i am not that nice. he sent me a request a while back, and i didn't know him, so i rejected his request.

and then, about a month ago, i clicked on the tab that said "bookmarks" and he had me bookmarked!! that just creeped me out. so i deleted his bookmark on me. and then yesterday, i get not only another freind request from this kid, but a message. with a poem! about God!

thats like double-extra creepy with a side of scary.

so i blocked him. he cant view my profile or send me requests or messages.
i know that it's mean, but he's creepy! i don't deal well with creepy.

where the fuck is my hug?

2005-01-25T00:21:00.000-05:00

can't anyone see that my anger and agression is a plea for a big bear hug??!?!?! doesn't anyone care about AJ's feelings??? why is it that everyone else's feelings seem to matter EXCEPT mine??

where the hell are all my friends? oh, right. everywhere but toledo. ohio. those fuckers. those fucking fucks!

This is how i feel today: Why "Clerks." is a great movie

2005-01-24T23:50:00.000-05:00

I think this sums up about how I feel about people sometimes. I'm Randal in this scene. Dante's just about everyone else in my life right now.

Dante Hicks: You know what the real tragedy of this day is? I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Randal Graves: Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, pal! There you go again trying to pass the buck. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex girlfriend without even discussing how he felt about it with his present girlfriend? You want someone to blame for today? Blame yourself. "I'm not even supposed to be here today." You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here today. You're here under your own volition. You like to think that the weight of the world rests on Dante's shoulders. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Christ, you overcompensate for what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can just waltz in here and do our jobs. You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic and important than it really is. You work at a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work at a shitty video store, badly as well. That guy Jay's got it right, man. He's got no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to think that we're so much more advanced than the people that come in here everyday to buy paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?

Yeah. That sums it all up. I'm so sick of people pretending like they have so much to do. That they HAVE to do something. Fucking pricks. you don't HAVE to do anything. you fucking choose to. don't act all important because you chose to do something fucking lame, like help clean up someone else's apartment, or drop something off at a friend's place of work. you don't have to sit at a table selling tickets for a organization you volunteered for. you chose to do that shit bitches. you don't have to read the 50 pages that were assigned for class. you signed up for that shit when you decided to go to law school asshole. don't complain about it later. I don't want to hear about it.

i don't whine about choosing to do my laundry do I? or did I complain about how I chose to drive to 20 minutes out of my way b/c I wanted Chipotle? NO. I didn't. Because I fucking chose to do those things. the only i thing i have to do is breathe in every once in a while. and that's just because otherwise, i would die.

so the moral of this story is, unless its a life or death situation, you don't "have" to do shit. oh, and if its not life or death, i don't want to fucking hear about it.

Bedtime Stories

2005-01-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

This past weekend we got snowed in. Luckily, it was my friend, beth's, birthday, and she lives in my apartment complex. She and her roommate had already planned a pre-party at their place before hitting the bars. Of course, since driving was pretty much out of the question, everyone within a short drive or walking distance came over and the pre-party turned into an all-nighter. Some friends of mine came late and parked over at my place, so they walked me home and hung out for a bit. When my roommate came home, I got into bed, and (keep in mind I’ve had a lot to drink at this point) yelled at my friend rick, to come tuck me in. so he did, and he was like, “so you want me to read you a story too?”. And of course I did! I tried looking for my copy of the little prince, but my night stand drawers wouldn't work, so I handed him a time magazine that was on the floor, and made him read to me about the new hillary swank movie! I’m such a dork.
And the funny thing is, that’s totally me. Who else keeps time next to their beds??

i need a date to the prom....

2005-01-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

...would you like to come along? no one to go to the prom with me.....baby.....

:)

we have "barrister's ball" coming up next month. AKA Law School prom. i think all law school's have them. i just got my dress this past weekend. now i just need a cute boy to ask me, and buy my ticket. just kidding! unless someone's got a significant other or a spouse, pretty much everyone heads to this thing solo. but, its always fun to bring along a random, non-law school side-kick. i didn't last year, but hopefully i'll be able to take RK as my date. she's got residency interviews in and around Ohio around the day of prom, and she said she'd pack some dresses and try to come. that would be super-fun.

i was also trying to bring AD, one of my best guy friends from high school. he's taking the LSAT that morning, and i don't think there's a better way to celebrate the four hour law school admissions test than getting wasted with a bunch of law students. i told him about it a while ago, but i was back in cleveland this weekend, and we were talking about it, and he's all "but i have Cavs tickets for the next day at 1:00pm". lame. he could so still come.
then i'd have two "dates".

phunny phone calls

2005-01-11T13:25:00.001-05:00

my friend dan and i tend to drunk dial eachother. i should rephrase. he dials me, i miss the call, and i call back. anyways. one night that this happened resulted in one of the funniest messages anyone's ever left me.
i should first recap the night. it was the first night that that everyone was back from winter break, and we were all trying to go out. and dan and i had talked earlier and had one of those "let me know where you're at later" conversations so that we could meet up. at some point in the night, i called him to let him know that we had switched locations, and some girl i didn't answered his phone saying that dan had passed out on her sofa. obviously, there was no way he was coming out.
so the next morning, i saw that i had missed a call at around 4am from dan. i checked the message, and it went something like this:

"hi AJ, this is dan's friend. he's passed out on our sofa right now, but he's been talking about you all night. he said you should coem pick him up. he's passed out and moaning or something"

superfunny.

so on monday at school, dan sees me and just starts laughing, all, "i cannot believe they called you while i was drunk" or whatever. apparently, his friends were really drunk too and just decided they would hit redial on his phone. i thought it was really funny. i don't think dan thought it was as much b/c i tried to make him listen to the message, and he refused. i think he was embarrassed.

which is surprising since it's not like i haven't seen him pass out on a couch before (mine) or see people mess with him while he's asleep.

Discouragement

2005-01-03T15:14:00.000-05:00

i finally decided to check my grades from fall semester last night. needless to say, i am not pleased.
its really discouraging to study your ass off and still get shitty grades. passing is good and all, but its not as good as "doing well".
i'm trying really hard not to worry about it, you know, seeing as this is messing with my future and all. but like everyone has been saying since i started law school in the first place, "C's get degrees!"
this is true. but i'd really like to make it so that its no longer my mantra.

Suede A. Rock

2004-12-31T17:39:00.000-05:00

so a friend just forwarded me a link to www.playerappreciate.com
apparently my pimp name is Suede A. Rock.
thats highly amusing. so i changed my profile.

long time no see

2004-12-30T20:19:00.002-05:00

i hung out with my old roommate/close friend, ann, last night for the first time in almost a year. ann had been transferred by her company to England for a year, and she was home in the O-H for a few weeks. so me, ann, and another old roommate gretchen hung out last night to watch the Alamo Bowl (Ohio State 33!! Okla State 7! HA!). and it was just like old times. you know, roommates hanging out, chatting it up, and by the 2nd quarter, not really paying all that much attention to the game [except for our ohio state boyfriends - teddy ginn jr. (that's what he do!!), and mike nugent (i heart mike nugent. he will be mine, oh yes. he will be mine.)]. ann filled us in on her UK happenings, on her family, the EX, etc. and even though we kept up with all the calls and emails, i didnt fully realize how much i missed her until last night.

if you want to kiss the sky, you better learn how to kneel. on your knees boy!

2004-12-28T21:24:00.000-05:00

somehow, somewhere in some parallel universe, i have somehow gotten a bizarro reputation as a heartbreaker. whose hearts am i breaking you may ask. my own? definatley. my dream boyfriend pete yorn's? i wish. someone else's? highly unlikely.
this "heartbreaker" thing happened sometime in the recent past. apparently, my good friends kyle and julie ran into someone from my law school. it must have come down to the fact that we are all from the same part of cleveland, but this kid was all, "oh, she's a heartbreaker". about me! that's insane!
ok, now i will admit that i have a tendency to blow off dudes that like me too much, and pay more attention to the complete assholes that i seem to attract. but thats all girls. and any girls who says different is lying. that's just how the game goes.
but the other night we all sat around and discussed this. mainly because i wanted to know who kyle and julie had talked to, but neither of them could remember (drunkenness - so they claim). so now its a big mystery, that i must solve! i mean, if this alleged title gets out, will any boys talk to me? will i ever get the free meal? i mean, really, a girl's gotta eat.

shopping?

2004-12-27T23:55:00.000-05:00

i went shopping with my mom and RK. RK and i were standing in line at the gap to return some stuff, and there was this tall indian guy a few people in front of me. and honestly, the guy was not bad looking. so of course, the rock being secure in a quasi-relationship was all about stalking him for the rest of our time shopping.
when we went to meet my mom a few minutes later, RK had to tell my mom that i just saw my future husband, and that we should have followed him, and my mom totally agreed!
whatever dudes, i went shopping for swaeters and shit. not husbands. thats what law school is for, duh. (ok, thats a lie. my roommate likes to say that she's studyign for her MRS degree, so i stole that from her).

snow crazy

2004-12-21T20:18:00.000-05:00

i am home in cleveland for winter break and it has been snowing constantly since i got here 5 days ago!!
its insane! the other day, in a non-snow moment, i had to clean 2 feet of snow off of my car. literally. it was not fun. not to mention, i used to have these kick-ass Columbia snow boots that i used to wear all the time in undergrad (as any OSU-er knows, they don't plow or salt in Columbus, Ohio). anyways, i think my mom threw them out!
so, normally, the loss of an old pair of snow shoes wouldn't be a big deal, but my dad had another round of angioplasty (sp??) recently, and he cant go out and shovel snow b/c its bad for his heart. so guess who gets to clean the driveway when our plow guys fails to show?? yeah, me. its great. let me tell you. freezing my ass off everyday is wonderful.

birthday blahs...

2004-12-16T09:50:00.000-05:00

i just turned 25 on the 15th. its basically been me being a complete biatch for the past week or so because of finals, and well, i hate that my birthday always gets over-shadowed by Christmas. It always happens that soemhow X-Mas becomes more important to EVERYONE than my birthday. Yeah, i know i'm just being selfish, but everyone else gets to be selfish on their bday but me, so how the fuck is that fair? why should i get the shaft just because my birthday falls near a holiday (one i might add, that i DON'T celebrate).

anyways, the bday wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. people forgot. but there are always a few that do. and this year, some of the people who remembered made up for it. its always nice to receive an international phone call from england or scotland [yeah, i totally got both :)]. it kinda makes up for the fact that a friend of mine from law school completely forgot (yeah, thanks JEN. i only talked about it for a week). whatev. as most of my close friends know, my bday is really important to me. i think all birthdays are. and well, the people who forget? not really my friends then. i know thats harsh. but i always get stuck being the kid who's birthday always gets forgotten.

i hate that girl!!

2004-12-01T01:02:00.000-05:00

somewhere along the line i somehow became friends with "that girl". and let me just say, i hate that girl. in high school, i hated that girl who dressed like cher from Clueless. In college, i hated that girl who wore heels to class even though she had to trekk across the oval in snow. i also hated that girl who would take the time to put on a full face of makeup, but not the time to brush her teeth in the morning (true story). and right now i know or am friends with at least one person who's sporting one of the "i hate that girl" traits like its her job. everyone has there own version of "i hate that girl". mine's pretty extensive. here are the highlights:

i hate that girl who takes herself too seriously.
i hate that girl who gets drunk and starts crying for no apparent reason.
i hate that girl who will blow off all her friends the moment a boy starts paying attention to her.
i hate that girl who always has to be the center of attention.
i hate that girl who will answer her cell phone during a movie/dinner/at the library and then proceed to talk really loud.
i hate that girl who never takes responsibility for her own actions or choices. (dude, its not my fault you got so wasted last night that you made out with a boy thats not your boyfriend).
i hate that girl who listens to whiney prissy teeny-bopper girl music.
i hate that girl who keeps trying to change one of guy-friends.
i hate that girl who always has to be right (even if it makes someone else wrong).
i hate that girl who thinks she's better than everyone else.
i hate that girl who has no idea who roger waters is.
i hate that girl who is super smart, but has absolutely no common sense. i also hate the girl who dumbs herself down to talk to members of the opposite sex.
i hate that girl who steals your joke and then tells them so wrong that it's not even funny anymore!!!
i hate that girl who has never seen "pulp fiction"
i hate that girl who would rather watch E! than the simpsons. same goes for the girl who'd rather watch anything instead of Ohio State Football.
i hate that girl who is always trying to jock my style.
i hate that girl whose afraid to get her hands dirty.
i hate that girl who asks questions she already knows the answer to.
i hate that girl who treats everything like a competition
i hate that girl who can't take a joke.
i hate that girl who talks about shoes and shopping all the time!
i hate that girl whose biggest dream in life is to get married and have babies.
i hate that girl who thinks that just b/c she is married/engaged/in a "serious relationship" that she knows everything about dating.

my list could go on and on. what do you hate about that girl?

something bothersome

2004-11-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

i was talking to this guy i used to date the other day - just catching up with each other - we're still pretty good friends. he lives in columbus now, and we were talking about how he ran into a girl we both know. a girl i used to be friends with, but who is now someone i really don't like. but this girl recently moved to columbus and they ran into each other. anyways, the bothersome part of all this is that he was all, "so is she seeing someone?"
i'm allowed to not like this, right? because even though i don't like him anymore, its alright that i don't want him to like a girl i don't like, right? especially since he knows i don't like her? and knows why?
basically, me hating this needs to be OK. because it really bothers me.

Quick, say something funny!!!!

2004-11-21T18:16:00.000-05:00

I got to hang out with a couple of my old roommates this past weekend to watch the OSU/Mich game, and I realized how much I miss laughing. I don't laugh enough. Which makes me sad. I used to laugh all the time in undergrad, and ever since I left OSU, I haven't done it nearly enough.
Part of the problem is that all of my undergrad friends are super funny, and most of my law school friends aren't. Its not that they don't try, or have good senses of humor, but they don't have the same dry wit, extreme wackiness, or knack for sarcasm that I love.
and yes, while I pride myself on basically always being the funniest person in the room, its not a whole lot of fun when there's no one around to make me laugh. And I don't mean the "let's all get wasted" type of funny, because that still happens sometimes (but again, that's mostly me making fun of everyone else).
I'm talking the laugh so hard, that your sides hurt, and tears come out of your eyes, and makes you pee. I mean the type of funny that happens at the most random times, whether its waking up to a roommate jumping on my bed at 8am screaming "McDonald's breakfast! McDonald's breakfast!" or at restaurants, requesting a table of 4 for the Shithead (Shi-theed) party.
And here I am at law school, away from my funny friends, and I am the only one willing to do random crazy shit. So I don't know if its just that I am more outgoing than everyone, or if everyone else is really just that boring. I tend to think its the latter. Mostly because my best guy friend here was bored during class once and went thru all my emails. And this kid, who is pretty funny himself, read one from a friend of mine here at school and exclaimed, "GOD, EVEN HER EMAILS ARE BORING!". Yeah, so I tend to think that its not just me.
Good thing its Thanksgiving this week. Maybe my high school friends can help pull me out of my world of the anti-funny.

rageahol

2004-11-01T21:13:00.000-05:00

Homer: It's true, I'm a Rageaholic.....I just can't live without Rageahol!